Happy Christmas from Lisa Scott (&) Leigh

Lisa Scott Lee may have a failed pop career behind her and lost every reality television competition she’s competed in but the former Steps beauty has finally struck gold following the launch of her new perfume Deficiency!

Lisa launched the perfume in the branch of the Perfume Shop where she has a Saturday job. “It was literally flying off the shelves,” she smiled. Lisa has always been great at Chemistry and brewed up the smell using an old chemistry set that she found in her loft. Lisa is remaining tight lipped over the ingredients. “If I told you I’d have to kill you,” she snarled.

Lisa is thrilled with the success of the perfume and hopes to launch her own beauty range in the new-year. Deficiency! can be bought from the Perfume Shop in the Metro Centre, Newcastle or click here to buy a bottle.

UPDATE

Former Steps beauty Lisa Scott Lee suffered a great Tragedy today when her perfume Deficiency! was withdrawn from the shelves. The 369 people who have bought the product have been hospitalised with severe burns and now stand to be seriously disfigured for the rest of their lives. Mum of four, Jackqueueie, 20 unfortunately lost half of her face and is anxiously awaiting an operation to transfer excess skin from her thighs. “It’s devastating” She told us. “It’ll ruin Christmas. Thankfully I wasn’t very pretty in the first place so it could be worse. I just want my kids to stop screaming when they see me,” she chuckled. Deborah, 48 luckily only sprayed it onto her wrist but as a result lost a hand. “Yes, I’m upset but you’d be amazed what they can do with prosthetics nowadays,” she quipped.

The bad news doesn’t end there at the last count 4759 people have had a serious allergic reaction to the perfume and died after so much as a whiff. The fatalities are increasing rapidly as the corpses are excreting a deadly mucus that can kill anyone and everyone within a 2 mile radius. Lisa is still optimistic about her career, as she was dragged from her home by armed police she told us “It’s better to have tried and failed than not tried at all.”

NEWS JUST IN

Lucky Lisa Scott Lee was released without charge today as news emerged that the fatalities, as mentioned in the previous update, have made a full recovery and are now completely alive. There are however health concerns regarding the reincarnated as most of them have developed a grey discolouration of the skin and the pupils in their eyes have turned completely white. On a positive note they are all moving but at a very slow physical pace. Lisa is delighted at the news. “Being in the cells was just inspiring,” she nudged. “I managed to write some new songs and choreograph some great routines. I also learned how to punch a woman, knock her unconscious & steal her purse. I’m glad to be out because I’ve got a hair appointment.” Lisa will be touring primary schools next year to teach children her new skills. To book Lisa for your school click here.

NEWS JUST IN: UPDATE

Lisa Scott Lee is in back in the cells again tonight following what can only be described as a brutal massacre carried out by the reincarnated victims of Lisa’s toxic Deficiency! perfume. It would seem that the affected have developed a taste for human blood and the ravenous thousands descended towards the nations capital and, following sun down, savagely murdered over 18,000 people by biting their necks or tearing out their heart. An onlooker said “It was awful, there were people running around screaming. Nobody really knew what was going on and then suddenly there was blood everywhere. I managed to run into comet and steal a 50” plasma and nobody could hear the alarm go off because of the screaming. So I was quite pleased really.” He winked. Lisa made an announcement to the press last night. “I am going to write an autobiography because, after all this, I think people might finally be interested in what I’ve got to say.” She sniffed. Following an immediate outpouring of negativity from all publishing houses, Lisa changed her mind. “I’ll just write a song about it then” she huffed. At this point MTV bosses stepped in and reminded her she was banned from releasing any music. “I’ll do a dance about it then… on ice or something.” She concluded.

Duracell ain’t got nothin’ on this bitch. Watch her with 10,000 volts through her head, or so she claims. Download the single NOW. Who cares if she’s responsible for all that death. It’s christmas, give Scott-Lee a chance.