Dear Nell McAndrew
December 5, 2008 by admin
Filed under Dear Celebrity Love from Leigh
I am a huge fan of you Nell and I love you so much but I don’t think that you would like me if you were a real girl because I don’t think I am your type and I’m not a qualified mechanic yet because I have not finished my apprenticeship at the garage that I work at.
I am seventeen and I have a corner at work where I have to sit when I have my break because apprentices aren’t allowed to sit with the real mechanics until they are qualified. I’m doing really well at college so I think I will be qualified one day. Most of the lads at work have pictures of skanky birds on their walls and I don’t like these pictures because they are not respectable for women. I had a picture of you on my wall but last week whilst I was eating my sandwiches, one of the lads, who shall remain nameless, came over to my corner and laughed at your picture and said that a fat and spotty virgin would never get a fit bird like you (Nell McAndrew), he meant me Nell and I was really upset because I am not a virgin and I have told the lads loads of times that I am not but they just say its against the law to sleep with your cousin but it wasn’t my cousin, it was my cousins step-sister so I am not related to her AT ALL.
What upset me more than anything though was that after saying that mean stuff about me and you Carl took the lid off my Yoplait and threw it on your picture and said something really disrespectable to women and it ruined the poster as well as leaving a bit of a stain on my overall which made all the other lads laugh cos they said it looked like dry spunk.
Anyway I am writing to you because I haven’t got anymore pictures of you to put up because on the same day the above happened and I got home from work I noticed that my Mum had thrown all of my magazines away. I went mad because all my pictures of you have gone and I had a huge row with my mum about it and she said that she threw them away because pictures of women like you are the reason that teenage boy’s bedrooms stink. This was the worst day of my entire life.
I am living at my grandma’s house now. I don’t ever want to speak to my mum again. I hope she has a heart attack. I was wondering if you had any spare pictures of you that I could have. If not I could buy one off you, I don’t mind. I earn £35 a week so I could afford one. I am your biggest fan Nell and I hope you don’t mind me telling you that I love you forever more.
I am seventeen and I have a corner at work where I have to sit when I have my break because apprentices aren’t allowed to sit with the real mechanics until they are qualified. I’m doing really well at college so I think I will be qualified one day. Most of the lads at work have pictures of skanky birds on their walls and I don’t like these pictures because they are not respectable for women. I had a picture of you on my wall but last week whilst I was eating my sandwiches, one of the lads, who shall remain nameless, came over to my corner and laughed at your picture and said that a fat and spotty virgin would never get a fit bird like you (Nell McAndrew), he meant me Nell and I was really upset because I am not a virgin and I have told the lads loads of times that I am not but they just say its against the law to sleep with your cousin but it wasn’t my cousin, it was my cousins step-sister so I am not related to her AT ALL.
What upset me more than anything though was that after saying that mean stuff about me and you Carl took the lid off my Yoplait and threw it on your picture and said something really disrespectable to women and it ruined the poster as well as leaving a bit of a stain on my overall which made all the other lads laugh cos they said it looked like dry spunk.
Anyway I am writing to you because I haven’t got anymore pictures of you to put up because on the same day the above happened and I got home from work I noticed that my Mum had thrown all of my magazines away. I went mad because all my pictures of you have gone and I had a huge row with my mum about it and she said that she threw them away because pictures of women like you are the reason that teenage boy’s bedrooms stink. This was the worst day of my entire life.
I am living at my grandma’s house now. I don’t ever want to speak to my mum again. I hope she has a heart attack. I was wondering if you had any spare pictures of you that I could have. If not I could buy one off you, I don’t mind. I earn £35 a week so I could afford one. I am your biggest fan Nell and I hope you don’t mind me telling you that I love you forever more.
Love from Leigh Clark
Nell sent me two gorgeous pictures of herself wearing not much. One of them was a proper Autograph card and the other she had pulled out of a copy of Loaded magazine was specifically to replace the ‘yoplait’ picture and it said…
To Leigh and all the lads Big Kiss! Nell McAndrew
What a beautiful woman!
