The Hills: Final Season EXCLUSIVE

 

The popular MTV show The Hills is approaching its 8^th season and MTV bosses have confirmed that this will be the last ever series. “They have big plans for the season finale. I think it will shock fans” an insider revealed.

 

The reality soap has a huge following in America and has made huge stars of its cast of “real” vacuous twenty-something’s. There will be a big surprise for all the stars when they find out that producers plan to kill off all of the characters. “To start with they were going to orchestrate a mass suicide. They had a Heavens Gate recruitment team on stand-by but if one fails to commit then there will have to be another season.”  The insider continued, “So now they’re going to tell them all they’re going to Cancun, film them getting over excited, packing their bags, having a laugh and then they’re going to crash the plane into the Hollywood sign and kill everyone on board. There will probably be a sad Coldplay song playing in the background and then we’ll show a montage of how spoilt they were when they were alive, you know so viewers don’t complain.” MTV believe this could bring in their highest viewing figures since Jodie Marsh’s wedding.

 

MTV held auditions last month for the role of Incompetent Pilot. Auditions saw record numbers of desperate actors queuing all the way down Hollywood Boulevard for their chance of making it big. “It’s the role of a lifetime,” said one eager unemployed actor, “It’s going to get the biggest viewing figures ever. I’d be destined for stardom”, he posed. MTV are hoping, along with everyone else in the world, that Peaches Geldof will agree to star in the season finale. “She can sit next to the pilot as far as I’m concerned” a producer spouted. Her Dad, Sir Bob, couldn’t agree more, “She’s a good for nothing jumped up little twat. If only I’d paid as much attention to my own children as I had those Africans.” He giggled.

Peaches Geldof

I’ve decided to be positive this year and I cannot think of anything positive to write about Peaches Geldof apart from her father, Sir Bob, has fed the world which is wonderful and her mother, the great yet late Paula Yates, was a milf and a lovely lady to boot.

Peaches (above) at the opening of a tin of dog food. Her handbag is by some pompous designer and cost the life of a starving family. Her favourite tipple is coke and it’s consumed in respect for her dead mother.