Lily Allen fan, aged 2, begs for DRUGS

Lily Allen was last week quoted saying this, “Drugs are absolutely brilliant. I can’t get enough of drugs. All kids should be forced to take drugs by their parents. Everyone should take drugs all the time. Drugs, DRUGS, DRUUUUUGS! YEAH! WOOH!”

Unfortunately, this 2 year old Lily Allen fan is easily influenced…

Lily Allen: My top 5 Fears

To celebrate the success of her marvelous single The Fear (above) Lily Allen has exclusively revealed her personal top five fears.

 

5. “I have always been frightened of murderers because they are really mean people.”

 

Naughty murderers

 

4. “I have a fear of stickers. Once a charity worker for Banardo’s put one on my jacket and I broke her nose with my foot.”

Some stickers yesterday

 

3. “I am very scared of being locked in an old abandoned refrigerator in the middle of an industrial wasteland with nobody nearby within a ten mile radius.”

Beware: an abandoned refridgerator

 

2. “One of my fears is coming home and finding a naked old man crouched down at the foot of my bed and when I ask him to explain what he is doing there he would start speaking in tongues and approaching me slowly with his arms stretched out and then he would start bleeding from the eyes and I would scream for help but no noise would come from my mouth and then the old man would give me a piece of paper telling me who he was and when I open the paper it would say “I am you” and then I would look up and I would see me and then I would look down and realise that I was the naked old man.”

 

Old man last night

 

1. “My main fear is putting my hand in a dogs mouth”

Nasty bitch

 

Thanks Lily.