Katy Perry goes tits over ass

Singing lesbian and all round super hot sex pot Katy Perry managed to upset the audience at a recent benefit gig for victims of Weight Watchers.

 

Katy agreed to perform her same sex snog anthem I Kissed a Girl in front of thousands of hungry dieters. Controversially Katy had the bare faced cheek to flaunt herself around a huge cake that sent the starving salad dodgers swarming towards the stage. Katy brought her own security guards who ensured her safety by attacking the charging hordes with cattle prods, taser guns and violent punches.

 

To rub salt into the crowds gaping wounds and growling stomachs Katy threw her slender frame on top of the cake and rubbed her womanhood all over it. At this point the hungry onlookers returned to their seats. The audience had the last laugh though when the singing lesbian became so lubricated she couldn’t stand up to leave the stage.

 

Watch the dirty mess below…

Katy Perry in Hot and Cold Bother

 

Singing lesbian Katy Perry is in hot water with parents all over the world after releasing the follow up single to her lesbian rant I Kissed a Girl. Her new single Hot and Cold has outraged parents as they believe the lyrics will encourage youngsters to experiment with taps.

 

“After my 3 year old daughter accidentally heard I Kissed a Girl on the radio I caught her with her tongue down her Cabbage Patch doll’s throat. God knows what she’ll do if she ever hears the lesbian’s new song. I’ll probably find her floating face down in the bath,” whispered a disgruntled Mum.

 

Parents are also concerned that their children may be scolded from messing about with a hot tap. “It’s all very well encouraging this kind of behaviour when you don’t have children but we’ve had to splash out on new locks for the bathroom door to stop our kids going in unattended. Is Katy going to compensate the cost? I’m sending my receipt to her record company and I suggest other parents do the same,” screamed an angry father.

 

Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth also slammed the singer by claiming that she is encouraging wasting water. A spokesman for Greenpeace said “She sings of hot and cold loads of time in the song but doesn’t mention a plug once. So we can only imagine that the millions of people that will be influenced by the song will be flushing it down the plughole without a care.” Friends of the Earth added. “The world only has ten years worth of water left. This woman’s song is potentially lethal to the environment.”

 

Child protection agencies worldwide have spoken out against the song. “The woman is an idiot egging on children to play with taps.” said a spokesman. “She’s definitely encouraging accidental death.”

Katy Perry kissed a girl and America didn’t like it

 

Singing lesbian Katy Perry shocked the world with her hit single I Kissed a Girl because it was about how much she likes kissing girls. Katy is a one time Christian singer and her moral U-turn has created pandemonium amongst narrow minded American religious fanatics.

 

When the lesbian got to number one in the charts, crazed religious lunatics got whipped up into a frenzy so violent that they set fire to their own places of worship whilst still in them. Churches all over narrow minded America rapidly disappeared in protest against the lesbian anthem. “It’s okay, singing songs about kissing girls if you are a man but the first time I heard the lyrics to this song I sicked up my beef jerky and smashed my radio to bits with my fist,” said a lovely church goer. Following the mass destruction of America’s churches Katy Perry stunned the American public by announcing, “I’m not a lesbian really, they’re gross.”

 

A savagely burnt religious fanatic wept, “What the hell are we going to do now? Our churches are gone and our bibles are burnt to smithereens.” Katy apologised for all of the damage I Kissed a Girl had done to America, “Sorry” she said.

 

The riled religious freaks forgave Katy instantly and began working on their churches once more. “It’s really brought people together,” said an old anti-smoking pastor who was wearing a God Hates Fags t-shirt, “We would like to thank Katy Perry for pretending to be a lesbian because our outrage sparked a rebirth in our religious sensibilities and the building work has really brought together the communities. Our new churches are coming on nicely,” he winked.

 

Katy, who watched the churches being rebuilt with great interest held a press conference today. “I am a lesbian really,” she announced. “Ha! Ha!” she added.