Dollar

God love these two. Dollar are the most deluded former celebrities in the world. They recently starred in Living TV’s Pop Goes the Band and underwent drastic surgery as a means to achieve the good looks they once had during the 1970’s. The results were hilarious and if you missed it I urge you to sit in front of Living TV until it is repeated.

 

Highlight’s of the show: David was being inspected by a female surgeon and when she attempted to touch his love handles he grabbed her hand and tried to force it onto his private parts. He has the sex drive of a fifteen year old boy with learning difficulties and should be imprisoned.

 

Another highlight was Teresa claiming that the lines on her forehead are due to her frowning whilst she’s hard at work in the studio. Studio? What studio? They haven’t had a hit single for 30 years and just watch them performing Mirror Mirror to their dance teacher – you will drown in a sea of laughter.

 

I had to stick Dollar in Celebrity Tits column because I had no other place to put them. But I secretly love you Dollar. I love you like a respectable aristocrat loves his secret stash of German porn.

 

Pop Goes the Band ad.

 

David Van Day proving to be a complete tit on GMTV

This is the best music video ever to contain an argument about a jacket

Support Dollar

David Van Day

He has always been a tit. His appearance on I’m a Celebrity… only confirmed this. Here is a video of him and his Dollar partner arguing with Sonia a few years ago on Reborn in the USA. Dollar were voted out on the first week. This was hardly a surprise as they were… The word ‘shit’ doesn’t do them justice.

Here’s evidence to back up my case. He sounds awful as it is and she comes in like a bloody foghorn.

Dear Ant and Dec

If you did radio I would be able to listen to you on my portable and carry it around with me from room to room. Alternatively I could turn up the volume on my stereo but this may annoy the neighbours (they go mad at my tumble dryer). The walls in my house are thinner than Karen Carpenter.

Both of my hips have finally been replaced after 3 years in total on the NHS waiting list and my daughter thinks I’m doing marvelously, she lives in Dubai now but she telephones every Sunday morning so I’ll tell her you said hello. May I please have a signed photo of you so I don’t forget what your faces look like when you start on the radio? I’ve got photos of all of them off Radio Humberside, they’ve probably told you about me. Anyway, I’ll be listening. good luck with it.

 

 

 

 

An Old Celebrity Falls Down a Hill

It’s hilarious when people fall over but only if they get back up again. Sometimes people die from falling over and that is not very funny for the victim or members of the victim’s family. Remember, it is only safe to laugh when you see movement after the fall.

It doesn’t matter if you laugh when a celebrity dies when falling over because they are not real. Celebrities are made up for television. Here is a clip of a celebrity who used to be on Star Trek. He’s really old, so you may worry about the fragility of his bones, but not for long because the fall is way too funny.

How about on next years I’m a Celebrity they just line up tonnes of Z-listers at the top of a hill and push them off?

Kerry Katona

There are many reasons why Kerry qualifies for this week’s Celebrity tit. Here are a few…

1. Being in Atomic Kitten.

2. Leaving Atomic Kitten.

3. Being on I’m a Celebrity…

4. The Iceland adverts.

5. Being so vocal about where she likes to stick her tongue.

6. Having an MTV show about being ‘crazy’.

7. Using bi-polar as an excuse for being ‘crazy’ and drunk.

8. The This Morning appearance.

9. Lying about being a drunk on the This Morning appearance.

10. Having an MTV show based around her having her tits reduced.

11. Her Husband.

The above image is taken from Kerry’s 2009 Calender. £4.99 from specialist stores. All proceeds of which go towards buying her husband another new car.

see with your own eyes why she’s such a tit…