Chris Brown & Rihanna, were last week’s golden couple. This week one of them is black and blue. What a difference a fist can make to a relationship…

Rumours are rife that Chris’s chequered past is to blame for his unpredictable outbursts. We were discreetly contacted by the singer’s former employees who exclusively revealed that a woman isn’t the only thing that he has battered.

“Chris used to work with us during the summer holidays. He was a hard worker and a real hit with the ladies. He had his responsibilities and he carried them out to his highest abilities but one day I turned my back for one second and he just went crazy.”

The Job was at Fannies Fish Shop in Scarborough where Chris worked as part of an exchange scheme with a chip shop worker who in turn flew to America to sing. The exchange only lasted six weeks by which time Chris’s former boss was pleased to get rid. She explained, “His job was to serve the fish and chips, wrap, bag and take the cash but I turned round to get a punter some mushy peas and Chris had physically battered a fish, two jumbo sausages and his hands were tightly gripping my Mars Bar, he was ripping the wrapper off and was just about to batter it when I caught him. I was livid beyond recognition because we don’t batter Mars Bars. I was saving it because I’m diabetic.”

Seriously: If  you or anyone you know has been affected by a complete idiot like Chris Brown please get help click here for useful help and information.