The Return of Five Star

Five Star have been hiding away at their Neverland Ranch for the last twenty years but, following the success of the Take That and Boyzone reunions, the Rain or Shine siblings have decided to give it another go.

Unusually, the pop group have decided to opt for a completely different line up consisting of the most untalented residents of Detroit. Five Star’s grandma, who is famous for making their rubbish costumes out of bedsheets and toilet seat covers, yesterday held a press conference to announce the famous five’s return. “They’re returning,” she spat “but with a completely different line up. people will be very surprised and I doubt anyone will recognise them. I hope they don’t get recognised because one of them was caught fiddling with himself in a public toilet and I’m thoroughly ashamed of him.” She wept.

Feast your eyes on the return of FIVE STAR