Dear Jane McDonald

1. When is Star for a Night coming back on TV?
2. What is your most embarrassing moment?

I really hope you put an end to my sleepless nights and answer these questions. In the meantime, I have noticed a distinct lack of original material on your albums and have therefore written you a song for you to either a) put on an album or b) release as a single (B PLEASE!!!) Here goes..

Sometimes I feel like dying
And wish that I was dead
Sometimes I feel like crying
But I cut myself instead

From the cuts come grief
But then I found a fan
And was overwhelmed with relief
Because he’s my perfect man

I love the way you kiss my lips
I love the way you laugh
I love the smell of your fingertips
When we make love in the bath

Now I don’t feel like killing myself
Because I’m so in love with you
But if you ever left me
Christ alone knows what I’d do

I don’t ever want to break up with you
I’d rather be buried alive
Buried alive a a ive
Buried aaaaaaaaaalive
Aaaalive
(heavy breathing)
Alive
(sound of a coffin lid slamming shut)
THE END

Thanks so much Jane, It’s called Buried Alive by Leigh Clark. I hope you like it, I’m not sure what I’ll do if you don’t. Oh well!
Can I please have a signed photograph of you for my personal use?

Love from Leigh