Dear Ant and Dec

If you did radio I would be able to listen to you on my portable and carry it around with me from room to room. Alternatively I could turn up the volume on my stereo but this may annoy the neighbours (they go mad at my tumble dryer). The walls in my house are thinner than Karen Carpenter.

Both of my hips have finally been replaced after 3 years in total on the NHS waiting list and my daughter thinks I’m doing marvelously, she lives in Dubai now but she telephones every Sunday morning so I’ll tell her you said hello. May I please have a signed photo of you so I don’t forget what your faces look like when you start on the radio? I’ve got photos of all of them off Radio Humberside, they’ve probably told you about me. Anyway, I’ll be listening. good luck with it.