Amy Winehouse: New health scare

Amy Winehouse received shocking news from the Doctors yesterday that has caused alarm amongst her fans, friends and family. Amy is steadily recovering from the shock of the shocking news and although she looks critical she is in a stable condition.

 

A spokesperson for the Rehab star held a press conference where details of the shocking news emerged and stunned onlookers, some of whom had to be rushed to hospital, via St Johns, after they collapsed from shock.

 

The spokesperson announced “It is my sad duty today, to announce that Amy Winehouse has been warned by Doctors that she will die.” At this point mayhem ensued as the gasps from the crowds brought down a nearby marquee and crushed an elderly lady who looked stable but was left in a critical condition.

 

The spokesperson continued. “She will die if she doesn’t make sure that her cigarettes are put out properly and in a safe place. Amy has been warned that she could suffer from fatal consequences such as dying in a house fire or burning to death in her own bed as she sleeps.”

 

An emergency helpline has been opened for people with very little going on in their lives. All operators are trained to deal with degenerates and the mentally ill.